It\’s pretty much common knowledge that just because somebody works at Guitar Center, it doesn\’t necessarily mean they know their ass from their elbow. But what I experienced today has got to be somewhere near top of the “Dumb Things Guys at Guitar Center Do or Say” list.
I was looking for some small speakers for my home recording setup. I came across a pair looked like they might work just as a salesperson came in and asked if I needed help. I told him that I\’d like to hear the little speakers to make sure they sounded okay.
“Oh, they sound great, man!“ he immediately replied. I told him I wanted to hear them anyway, just to make sure.
\”No problem, bro,\” he barked and pressed play on a nearby CD player. After five or six seconds of silence, I looked around at the back of the speakers. They weren\’t hooked up. I pointed that out to him and he said, \”Oh, I know that bro, I was just checking something else.” I gave him the benefit of the doubt and let him carry on.
He picked up one of the small speakers and walked to the other side of the gear-filled room. There sat another CD player in front of a wall of about 20 other speakers – some big, some huge. He unhooked the back of one of them and plugged the cables into the one he had brought over. He then turned on the CD player.
All at once, this hideous techno number came blaring – and I mean blaring – out of every speaker in the room. (I would make fun of how it startled him so bad that he literally jumped off the ground, but the same thing happened to me.) Instead of just stopping the CD player, he started turning down every knob in sight. None of them did a thing. The “music” was so loud, my eyes were watering, so I reached over and firmly hit stop on the deck.
He said something along the lines of, \”Wow, that was a jam!\” and I didn\’t laugh. After doing a second or two of thinking, he hit play again.
The blood-curdling techno once again poured out of every speaker along the wall, violently forcing each woofer and tweeter as far as they could go, and beyond. And once again, my sales guy frantically started turning down knobs – the same knobs he\’d already turned only moments before. I decided to just stand back and watch.
About a minute (!) later, his ears must have gotten numb to the horrendous sound, because he was now smiling. I looked down and the little 5-inch speaker I was wanting to audition was in his hands, pumping its little heart out. I could actually see its woofer slamming back and forth with each manufactured kick drum beat. It was hurting and hurting bad.
As the guy bobbed his head to the distorted noise, we made eye contact. \”What do you think?!\” he screamed at the top of his lungs.
I started to answer him but, instead, decided to cover my ears and run away.
I love that damn store. Seriously.
Posted by Matt Riggle @ 10:25 pm
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